It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
