Is it because I queefed?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
