haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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