I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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