Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you will always have a special place in my vag
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
