My liver just broke up with me...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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