is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
