Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
