dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
