as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
