I'm passing your future prison.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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