Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
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yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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