I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
