Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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