dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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