why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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