If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
