I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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