Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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