ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
