i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
