my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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