how can u be prego again
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So squirting runs in the family.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
