People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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