i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
