That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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