You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize