the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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