why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
