my sisters under your porch take her home
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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