Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
