I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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