so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
