Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
