found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
