please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
