Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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