So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
