During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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