Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
