i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize