she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So vagazzling was a success
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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