Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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