My first STD was from a foam party
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I need moral support for this bender
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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