capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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