I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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