I want to stick my p in your. b.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
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Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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