I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
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you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We have started to decorate penises.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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