I just saw a hot homeless man
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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