I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
