We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Say something about gay babies.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
