I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize