He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
