Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
