some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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