I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
