I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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