No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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