don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
