I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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