I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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