so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
