You really coming over, don't trick.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
