So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
