watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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